I have had a lot of time to think about family lately. The other night I stood at the window in my dorm that looks over the Carrier Dome where there was some sort of high school football tournament taking place. I watched as floods of parents and children walked up the stairs to support their children and friends. I thought back to the Friday nights I spent in Bloomfield cheering our football team on at Foley Field where I knew I could look up into the crowd and find my family cheering me on, and I found myself smiling at the fond memory that I had in common with the players inside the dome.
Since the first day I spent here at Syracuse University up until today’s present hour, my family has taken up a special corner of my mind. There’s a ton of time that I spend being too busy or distracted to worry about missing them, but in the moments that I am calm enough to allow my thoughts to settle, they pull the curtain in my brain back and reveal themselves. I don’t know if it’s typical of a freshman to miss their family as much as I do, but there’s nothing I can do about how much I wish they lived here in Syracuse, which would give me the opportunity to see them whenever I’d like to. The harsh reality that I must face is the fact that I do not have that option, and I must settle for weekly Facetime sessions and scattered phone calls throughout the week. Growing up is tough; I often think about the peaceful days at home that I took for granted spent under the protective wings of my parents. Without their comfort at my easy access, I often feel naked and exposed to the dangers of the world. I am quite literally the little bird jumping from the nest. I know it’s time for me to spread my wings, but what if I’m afraid to fly?
My friend Victoria, who I mentioned in my previous post, provided me with a tactic to erase this feeling of blatant bareness. She suggested this to me in reference to my test anxiety, but I have been using it in many aspects of my life lately. She told me that when taking a test, I should imagine God’s physical presence right next to me. As it is so easy to forget that God is literally everywhere and present in every situation, envisioning Him makes His presence easier to acknowledge. I have used this tactic in multiple tests I have taken, but I have also used it when I’m walking to classes that stress me out, when I’m working out and want to just give up (He matches our strides, even on the treadmill), and when my worries seem to keep me up at night. Normally, these were situations that my parents would motivate me or provide me with comfort in. But what I have really realized through this is that God is our parent, and He wants us to let Him lead the way as we enter all of these encounters.
How many times have I heard that God is a father figure? MILLIONS. After all, He is God the Father. Just as our parents here on this earth love us enough to try to minimize our fears and our stresses through love and comfort, God wants us to trust Him enough to guide the way through all of our days. The difference between God and our parents, however, is the fact that God has control over what we fear most, He has control over what happens to us, and He has the power to bring us to heights we have never imagined (Psalm 61:1-2). With God, we can live a life greater than our highest hopes if we just trust that He is stronger (John 10:10). I know, it is so much easier said than done, and it is so much easier to trust what we see (our physical parents) than what we cannot (God). But our relationship with God is one of faith. For me, envisioning God as a physical being has made this tactic of belief much easier. When I picture God grabbing me by the hand and leading me to a favorable outcome, I often feel more at peace than I had before. But this is because I know that God has control over all and can bring the greatest successes my way. Does this mean that I don’t worry? Absolutely not. But it reminds me that I have an indestructible fortress in front of me, my Father, who loves me so much that He will not let any harm come to me. And then life seems doable.
The point I’m trying to get across is this: Let God take you by your hand, and guide you to where you must go. Yes, He has a plan for your life, but when you do this, His plan is much less ambiguous and life loses its fear factor. Taking that leap that He’s calling you to take no longer stands as an obstacle; it becomes mentally and physically achievable. As a first year student, I find myself extremely homesick. I absolutely cannot wait to be home for Thanksgiving break with my family in the comfort of my own home and with my dogs accessible for unlimited cuddles. But I do know that I have family wherever I go; I am never alone. I just need to trust my Father with each step I take, even the leaps. He is everywhere with me, and His hand is always extended. It’s just a matter of grabbing it.